colby and molly had their 4 year and 2 year check ups today.
colby had to do a urine test, among other things, so i made sure he drank plenty of fluids this morning before we headed out to the drs office. the child can go for hours without using the bathroom (honestly, its ridiculous), so i knew he'd be able to give me something when the time came.
when we got there the receptionist sent us right on back to the restroom to do the sample, so off i go to the bathroom with my 2 kids, my purse (why did i bring the big one today?), and 2 clipboards with waivers and things for me to sign (yes, i have 2 kids, but why cant they put it all on one clipboard???). i walk into the bathroom, which smells like stale pee, and theres no little table to put my stuff on, or hook to hang my purse on the door. nuthin. so i begrudgingly set my load on the floor (ick) and proceeded with the sample collection.
i had told colby last night before he went to bed that he would need to pee in a cup at the drs office so they could test his pee and make sure he's healthy. he was actually excited about the idea. no worries.
i labeled the plastic 'collection cup', and held it in the line of fire. let me interject at this point, that i did not have him go stand by the toilet. i thought to myself, "he doesnt need to stand by the toilet. he's not peeing in the toilet. hes peeing in a cup." yes, i did think through it pretty much just like that. so he starts to pee. and pee. and pee. and pee. oh, no.....the cup is getting full.
me: "stop peeing colby! stop! hold it!"
colby: "i still have more pee! i can't stop!"
so i reach over and grab another cup and switch them out real quick. i don't know what he thought he was doing but he moved his penis, maybe to accomodate for the switching of the 'collection cup', and he sprayed pee all over my arm and skirt, and the floor. meanwhile i'm yelling at molly to not touch the almost overflowing first 'collection cup' that i set off to the side so he could proceed to fill the second 'collection cup'. seriously. this is happening to me.
and guess what...there was a third collection cup. and a fourth.
me: "good night, colby. how much did you drink this morning?"
colby: "well, i didn't potty when i got up becuase i wanted to save it all for the cup."
how nice of him. and boy did he ever. he filled 3 cups and made almost halfway up the fourth one. so i dumped the first 3 cups in the toilet and cleaned up the mess we made. molly managed to come out of the incident unscathed, thank goodness. at least one of us didn't smell like pee.
no wonder that bathroom smells like it does. i would like to think thats not the first time something like that has happened.
thats what i'll keep telling myself, anyway. ;)
allen told me later that i could have "pinched it off like a water hose". a lot of good that does me now. i'll file that away in case i ever again find myself in such a predicament. lets hope not. mental note; always stand near a toilet when giving a urine sample. always.