Friday, September 18, 2009

here we go again...

i had so many great bathroom mishaps with colby when he was first learning. i knew it was only a matter of time before molly had some of her own.
yesterday she peed in the toy section at walmart and i had to buy her a completely new outfit, panties included. i also had to tell a walmart employee that my daughter had just left her a gift on aisle 20.
i also (same day) had to let both of my kids pee in mimis flower bed. we showed up at her house to surprise her but she wasnt there. molly was doing the tee tee dance, and i didnt know what else to do, so i sent her a flower bed at the corner of the house. colby probably could have held it, but if molly gets to pee outside, he sure isnt going to pass up an opportunity to do the same.

then today it finally happened. molly peed in her carseat.
she couldnt have done it when we were running errands around town, or just a few minutes from home. no. she did it on our way home from houston this afternoon with an hour still to go. fabulous.
and i was by myself with the kids. no spousal support. he's in vegas for his 40th. hence the trip to houston in the first place.
allen left thursday morning for basically 48 hours of live authentic casino texas hold 'em. one of his buddies put a trip together for his 40th birthday and we surprised him with it, so he's there with 3 friends till saturday night.
his mom has been wanting to see the kids, and since he's gone and i'm hoping to start rehearsals for ANNIE soon (no word on that yet. i did get called back and should know by monday if i'm in or not) which will make it near impossible for me to go anywhere overnight, i figured i'd take the kids for a surprise visit.
we had a great time visiting, shopping, eating; all the usual stuff, and i loaded the kids up around 3:30 this afternoon.
that would normally put me home around 6pm, which is perfect. that means we eat dinner at home, and i can bathe the kids and put them to bed.
....or not....
i guess maybe molly drank more than usual today, because we stopped i think 3 times to pee in the first hour. 1 time she went right on the side of the road. well, actually it was a rest stop, but there were no bathrooms, so i just had her strip down and squat in the grass. i really really really had to go too, but wasnt even about to do that, so i figured i'd hold it till i could find a decent gas station or place to eat. at this point i was planning on stopping for dinner because with the three stops already (and who knows how many more), we werent going to make it home till about 6:30.
we'd been back on the road about 20 minutes. the pressure on my bladder was growing by the second, my car speakers suddenly stopped working, and i was getting hungry. now, any one of those by itself would make me a little edgy, but all three?? i was not in a pleasant mood.
then i hear molly in the backseat:
molly: "i tee tee'd mommy."
me: "you have to tee tee again?"
molly: "no. i already diiiiiid tee tee."
me: "what? are you kidding me?"
so i pulled over (at yet another rest stop), ignoring the fact that i'm about to pee all over myself, and take her out to pee in the grass again. i didnt think she had actually peed. sometimes she'll start to pee, realize shes wearing panties, and stop it long enough to get to a toilet. so i was thinking thats what had happened.
nope. she had peed. a lot. she was soaked. her carseat was soaked. and to make it even more interesting, the pee that her carseat hadn't absorbed managed to i guess drip back behind it onto the actual seat of the suburban and pool underneath, and out from under it a little bit, dripping down the sides.
me: "molly, you just peed like 20 minutes ago! where did all this come from??!? why didnt you tell me you had to tee tee again?"
molly: "because i didnt have to tee tee."
me: "well, obviously you did!"
then, like a horrible person. actually, like a person who was about to add to the urine pool if she didnt find a bathroom soon, i put molly back in her carseat, buckled her in , and kept driving.
molly: "mommy, i have tee tee! change me! i'm wet!"
me: "deal with it molly! you shouldnt have peed on yourself."
i proceeded to say some things i shouldnt have said along the lines of, 'now we cant stop for dinner because no ones going to let us in to eat if molly has pee all over her!'
yeah, not my finest moment.
then colby started crying because he was hungry and was thinking we weren't going to stop and eat. to be honest, i didnt know what we were going to do. i think my bladder had run out of room and the urine was filling my brian, because i really wasnt thinking logically and all i was concerned about was finding a bathroom!! one of the frans gals may be willing to pee all over herself in the car, but i was not about to join that club.
part of me thought i could just get home and take care of everything there, but we were still a good 45 minutes away and i could not possibly wait that long. i finally pulled over to a gas station, and ran in like a crazy woman pulling my kids behind me (molly was still very much urine soaked).
after i took care of business, i pulled the car around to the side of the building and got molly cleaned up. took the cover off the carseat, wiped it down, changed her clothes, the whole nine yards. then i apologized to both of them for getting so upset, and colby said, "you must be really hungry, huh mommy?" because my kids know if i get too hungry i get cranky. i laughed and we drove off into the sunset.
the end.
actually we drove across the street to a hole in the wall cafe because it was almost 7pm at that point. we ate a yummy dinner, and i bought the kids vanilla (guilt) milkshakes for the road.

now i'm going to crash in my own bed with colby, who's joining me because daddys out of town.

happy weekend!!


KatCurlee said...

Oh just don't know how many times that very scenario has happened to ME!!!! We could write a book together...'cept, Jayna pee'd and vomited in the SAME FREAKIN' TRIP!!! She was Molly's age too...

Bless your heart. It ALWAYS happens when the Daddy is CONVENIENTLY out of town. Maybe he'll bring you back a big surprise.... ;)

Dawn said...

I am so, so sorry... but from the perspective of "been there, done that, and glad to be past that stage" I haven't laughed that hard in a long, long time!

Look at it this way - the weekend has to go up from here!!!

Love ya, Amy!!!

sara said...

I had an incident like that....on an airplane...flying home with my 3 kids under 4 by myself. only it wasn't pee....ya, my middle son had a "blow out". I walked off the plane, saw my mom and burst into tears!!!

Traci said...

Your story made me laugh so hard I snorted. Probably b/c I just lived it all myself. Layna did that just last week--peed so much that it pooled under the carseat. This was the crowning jewel after peeing lots of other places that week.) I have to screw off the back of the carseat to take the cover off, so it took forever to clean. And when I tipped it, I poured more pee all over myself and my kitchen floor. So guess what, we are no longer allowed to drink while we drive. None. Nada. I'm sick of cleaning up pee.