christmas spirit

over the past several days, i've consumed a ridiculous amount of cookies and wassell, and attempted to then exercise all those calories off at the gym. i think i'm thru the worst of it.

i hosted a sweet swap last tuesday and invited all the "neighbor ladies" (9 people. eeveryone brought 4 dozen cookies. you do the math). i didn't want to look at another cookie for at least 2 or 3 hours after that. ;-) we've lived in this house for 2 & 1/2 years and don't know any of the neighbors other than the obligatory wave if someone is out doing the yard or checking their mail. 4 of them came over and 1 brought a friend, and a few of my girlfriends came over, so it was a great time of chatting and eating till i felt like vomiting. ah, the christmas season.

i'm officially done with shopping as of yesterday. i needed to pick up a few last minute stocking stuffers and a gift for our nephew. now i can just enjoy the countdown.

shayne and kristen came over last night for our yearly christmas(ish) tradition.

they are 2 years apart, big brother little sister, and we just love them! they have the kind of relationship with each other that we pray colby and molly will have as they get older. so each year over the christmas break (this is the 3rd year we've done it) they come over and pray over the kids as we move into the new year. it's a sweet time and gives us an opportunity to catch up with shayne and kristen, too.

this morning erin, a friend of mine from the theatre (we were in CATS together), came over for coffee and brought homemade donuts (yum!). we hadn't seen each other in several months, so that was a fun time with her. she has a blog too, and poted this story she got off the blog of a friend of hers (she knows this guy, so this is a real story). what a sweet blessing and story of christmas spirit...

"Friday night I was out delivering pizzas, lost in the dark and looking for some semblance of address numbers on the houses as I passed. At the end of the street was a home brilliantly lit for the Christmas season. Santa Claus stood in his sleigh on the grassy front lawn, surrounded by blow up snowmen, snow-globes and a barrage of other holiday lawn decor. This was the house. As I opened the car door and grabbed 2 steamy pizzas and a box of greasy hot-wings, Mannheim Steamroller wafted gently from hidden speakers. As I rang the doorbell, Jingle Bells started playing in tinny door-chime fashion as I waited on the front stoop. The dull glow of thousands of blue-tinted LED Christmas lights illuminated the receipt for $31.95. My wife and I usually decorate our house with Christmas lights, but a fire last August destroyed all of our exterior lights. Being on a tight budget, we decided to buy a tree this year and forgo exterior decor until Christmas 2009. We had heard about the new LED Christmas lights, so I asked the homeowner how he liked them. We chatted for a bit as he paid for his pizza, and I mentioned that our Christmas lights were destroyed last year. At this his eyes brightened and he said, "I have just the tip for you." He walked me out to the front of his garage where 5 large rubbermaid tubs sat, filled with Christmas lights. A lump rose in my throat as he started hauling them out to my car. They were filled to the brim with lights of all shapes and sizes. As we loaded them into the car, he asked only that I promise to put them up and wish my neighbors a merry Christmas. I was blown away. To him, they may have just been some extra lights that he wasn't using this year. To me they were a very generous gift of Christmas Spirit."

i leave you with some very sound advice from colby:

"be careful driving out there. make sure you stay on the road."

Merry Christmas to you!! i hope you have a blessed holiday!

its not about cupcakes

colby had his mothers day out christmas party today (sooo cute!), so i loaded molly up, headed to the school, and tried to keep her from being a distraction for an hour and a half. i must say, though, it's so nice having family upstairs--for people that don't "know" me, colby goes to school at the academy at our church. my husband is the youth pastor, my mom is his secretary, and my dad is the worship pastor, so my kids are right at home up in the church offices (on the 3rd floor of the school)--mom took molly up with her to eat her nuggets and apple dippers while i stayed down in colbys room, so that bought me about 20 minutes. thanks mom.
colbys teacher, ms brandy, pulled me aside and asked me if colby had told me about getting upset on monday. he hadn't.
one of the kids was celebrating his birthday, so the class had cupcakes at lunchtime. the options were superman and batman. colby was given a superman cupcake, but wanted a batman cupcake. this was step 1 towards meltdown, so he was whining, but no totally over the edge yet.
then the little girl across the table, feeling sorry for him and wanting to be generous, offered him her batman cupcake, but only after she had licked batman off the top of it. well, that did it.
ms brandy said he lost it; flailing arms, sobs, melt down. so she went over and picked him up and walked around the cafeteria with him, trying to calm him down, and asked
ms brandy: "colby, what was it? was it not having batman? was it because she licked it? what?"
colby: "this is not the true meaning of christmas!"
ms brandy: (trying not to crack up, i'm sure) "no it's not."
colby: "it's not about cupcakes. it's about Jesus."


well said son, well said.

as promised

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drumroll please...........

wait for it.....

....wait for it....

AAAAHHHHHH!! did it scare you? check out my chins. thats my favorite.

this does not even do it justice, but it's the best i could get.

i would have liked to stand next to it so you can see how big it is, but i wasn't about to ask anyone to for that favor.

i had yet another person recognize me at the gym today.

"hey is that you?" she asked, pointing to that monstrocity of a window treatment (i.e. me).

i admited to being guilty as charged, but was quick to point out that i would have voted against that picture had anyone asked me. i also made sure to mention that i was still carrying some baby weight at the time.

i checked with zach on the 'them not asking my permission' thing, and apparently when i joined i signed some kind of waver giving them permission to publish pictures of me. smart. they must have known no woman in her right mind would consent to having a life size picture of herself working out plastered anywhere, let alone the main hallway of the most popular gym in round rock.

not that i would have the heart to tell them to take it down had that even been an option. i'm sure they spent a bundle on that thing.

their loss.

just to make myself feel better, here's a cute picture of me and april at our youth worker christmas party last night. april is married to zach--the one who would not ever take such a horrible picture of me.

april is an art teacher at a middle school, and we were talking last night about what kind of art projects she does and the messes they make and how the janitors hate her, specifically when there's glitter involved. and justin says, "glitter is the herpes of art supplies. it gets everwhere and just keeps spreading." crack me up! i have filed that away and will most definitely use it again next time the opportunity presents itself.

i would like to leave you with the lyrics to Go Tell it on the Mountain, as colby sings it...

Hope tell it for the mountain

over the hmm n evrmherrr

hope tell it for the mountain
that Jesus is the hooorrrrrnnnnnn

thank you. thankyouverymuch.

random ramblings

thats just what this entry is. random. a hodge podge of things unrelated, occuring over the past week or so.

right now i'm wondering why i just asked my 2 year old and 4 year old if i could clip their fingernails. as if they're going to sit down with hands offered up to me and say, "oh, please mommy, please clip my fingernails. i will sit prefectly still." right.

my latest anxiety is my impending fame and noteriety.

my best friend from high school, zach, who has worked at the YMCA since we were 16 (i know, right?) called me the other day and said

zach: "i have some bad news."

me: "what's up?"

zach: "have you seen the picture on the wall at the Y?"

**zach does photography as a side business (he's awesome, and his name above is linked to his website) and a few years ago he was taking some pictures to put up around the gym. one of them is me on the eliptical machine. it's an 8X10, and for the most part, unoffensive (meaning it doesnt make me vomit everytime i see it).**

me: "the one of me on the eliptical?"

zach: "no. there's a new one."

me: "that you took?" (i know zach, wonderful thoughful zach, would not volunteer a picture of me that he knows i would not be ok with being plastered on some wall for public viewing. i think.)

zach: "no. i don't know who took this one. you're not going to like it."

me: "oh no. why?"

zach: "it's big. like, the size of one of those windows in the hallway. actually, it is a window. you're a window."

me: "what?"

zach: "it gets worse."

me:"how?"

zach: "it was taken about 8 weeks after you had molly."

me: "oh, NO."

zach: "yeah. it's not cute."

probably the understatement of the year. imagine with me, if you will, a lifesize picture of you at your worst. for me it was right after i had my babies. yes, i was obviously bigger when i was pregnant, but when you're pregnant, it's a cute fat. no one can tell by looking at that picture that i just had a baby, thereby giving me license to be 25 lbs heavier. i digress. then imagine that picture, that very very large picture, put up in a place where the goal is to be thin and physically fit. a place that you go 3 to 4 times a week to look the complete opposite of what is exhibited the giant picture of yourself. neat.

to add insult to injury, the picture was taken in a step class, right as i stepped up and extended my extra-cushy arms up over my head and exhaled. it's awful.

so i thought, no one will recognize me. i'm don't really look like that anymore.

then today at the gym, i had 2 people say something to me about my picture being on the wall. fantastic. i'm immortalized.

moving on. like i said. random.

i took the kids christmas shopping for allen yesterday. they had at one point told me they wanted to get daddy a book, so we went to barnes and noble (note to self: i have got to get a club card). colby's first choice was a book by dennis leary (picked totally at random, i assure you) called Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy, and Stupid. after i stopped laughing, i put it back and redirected my kids to another section. although i was tempted to get it just for a moment, just to see allens reaction when he opened it on christmas morning as colby looked on, anticipating daddys reaction to his so carefully chosen gift.

he then picked a book about poker because "daddy likes checkers." again, funny, but redirected. they both picked something they think allen will like. i didn't want to pick something for them. i wanted it to be their decision (with some gentle suggestion). colby came out with something completely different than what he went in for. molly stayed pretty well on track.

i can't tell what they picked because allen will read this and i don't want to spoil it. i'll leave it at this: he will laugh, and i kept the receipt.

i was feeling artistic yesterday and took some black and whites of the kids down at the arboretum. i'm no zach lambert, but i think they turned out pretty good. :)

oh, also, i'm trying to get a picture of the picture of me (did you follow that?). i took my camera to the gym yesterday morning. i go at 530am on tuesdays and thursdays so i thought the timing would be good for me to take a picture of it without looking like i was having myself on. but there were a couple of people on the treadmills right there infront of it. i'm sure their treadmill selection was strategic. they wanted to admire the fat lady in step class while they worked hard to not look like her. i'll try again tomorrow.

communion and the joy of passing gas

i'm trying to figure out how to lay this story out for you to appreciate the fullness of its humor.
i'll just start at the beginning...
being a youth pastor's kid has its perks i suppose. allen is in charge of making sure the communion table is ready for services every sunday morning.
** we're southern baptist, but we have a table off to the side at the front of the worship center available for people to take communion. it's there every week.**
we never know how many people will choose to come do this, so there's always leftovers. a while back colby somehow figured out there was juice and crackers up there, so he started eating and drinking the leftover communion elements. maybe a bit sacriligious?
this is how we justify it; colby, before he eats or drinks any of it must say "thank you Jesus."
he takes it a step further and bows his head with his eyes closed before every drink and every bite, and prays those words. it's really cute and has become a weekly 'sideshow' of sorts for a handful of our friends that choose to stand around and visit rather than shoot out the door to lunch at the close of worship. when molly was old enough she got in on the action, and we explained to her the same conditions.
fast forward to last night. molly is sitting on allens lap as he's reading a book to her, and she lets out a toot. she has very good manners (surprisingly) for a 2 year old and always says excuse me, unpromted, after burping or tooting, but this time she didn't. so like any good parent allen asked, "molly what do you say?" we're both expecting the obligatory "excuse me." instead she looks at allen, and in all seriousness says, "thank you Jesus."
maybe tooting gives her the same emotional and spiritual satisfaction that taking communion does.
maybe she was having some indigestion and was thankful for the release.
maybe she was just confused.
at any rate, we didn't correct her.
if she wants to thank Jesus for tooting, then by all means.
i've been thankful for it before, too.

the elusive light up shoes

it's that time of year when we reflect on our lives and things that we're blessed with and thankful for. on thanksgiving day allen told colby that this year he should be thankful that he was born first, because had molly been born first, he probably wouldn't be here. and so he was thankful.
this was instigated by the previous night's incident that ended with her toys in the top of her closet (see previous post).
this has most recently been even more supported in my search for light up tennis shoes. i will get to that in a moment, but let me first say, i am thankful that i'm a stay at home mom and therefore not required to do my Christmas shopping, or any other kind of shopping for that matter, on the weekends. why on earth is that such a big deal, you ask?
i was at kohls today to exchange the shoes (that you don't know about yet, becuause i'm first explaining my thankfulness) and i was floored by the amount of people in line to checkout!
even more surprising were the things these people felt they needed to stand in line for. the line was, i kid you not, about 30 people deep. granted they were being filtered into many registers which is a good system in theory, but doesnt always work out so well, because we all know theres always that one person that pretends they don't see the line of 30 people waiting somewhat patiently, who walks right up to a register feigning shock at "what good luck to not have to wait in line on a satuday in december!" as they then pay and walk out seemingly oblivious to the mob they just cut in front of. i digress. so there's this one guy standing in line with, ready? a plush penguin. really, sir? a penguin? what on earth kind of patience do you have to stand in line for an hour to buy a penguin? 20 points for him. no, make it 100. i hope whoever he's giving it to carries it around till it's fur is rubbed of and it's missing an arm. he worked hard enough for it.
and so i'm thankful.

the shoes...
i was at kohls a few days ago and walked through the shoe department to see if anything caught my eye for molly- she's needing a pair of athletic-ish tennis shoes. i saw a cute pair for $20 with light up hearts on the side so i grabbed her size and paid for my treasures (pumpkin placemats for 69 cents!). when i got home i put the shoes on her and then noticed one of them wasn't lighting up. not a big deal, right? i can just go exchange them. well, first i had to get them off of her. she loved the lights. colby's tennis shoes have lights, and she wants to be just like colby (when she's not hitting him or sitting on his head). she cried. she wanted to wear her new tennis shoes. i wanted to get what i paid for, which is two shoes that light up, not one. i explained that one of the shoes didn't work and i had to go fix it, so she reluctantly complied and i knew i had 4 days to remedy the problem (4 days because allens mom came to take the kids for the weekend so i figured i'd run to kohls while they're gone and get another pair). i've been to 2 different kohls and there is not another pair of this shoe in her size. i've been to 4 other stores that sell shoes and there are either no light up shoes, or they have some but they're overpriced, ugly, or not available in her size. i'm not shopping anymore today. saturday in december? no thank you. some people are willing to wait an hour for a penguin. not me.
she comes home tomorrow. she will expect light up shoes. i should not be afraid of a 2 year old.
but i am....

blame it on your brain

colby has recently been blaming things on his brain. it's pretty cute, so it gets him out of potential trouble on occasion.
yesterday he was coloring and i heard him...

colby: "c'mon brain! c'mon!"
me: "colby, what are you doing?"
colby: "my brain wants to get out of the lines!"

there was another time when allen had told him to do something (i believe i was busy in africa) and he didn't. when allen asked him why, he said something to the effect of, "my brain didn't want to ."

so if you're cute, and don't want to do something, or perhaps you've made a mistake that could get you into trouble, just blame it on your brain. it works for my 4 year old.

we're not to far from having some molly posts on here. she's talking very very well, but most of the time she's having a fit or telling me no.
i don't know what to do with this child. is it a girl thing or a secong child thing? or a little of both? or maybe just her temperment? i'm talkin' screaming and flailing for seemingly no reason.
i told her to pick up her toys before bedtime the other night and she threw a fit. i counted. she still didn't pick up, so i swatted her. she still didn't, so i swatted again. then i left her in the room with her door shut "until you pick up your toys." when i went back in she still hadn't done anything. i said, "molly please pick your toys up." her response? "NO!" so allen went in.
she never picked up her toys. i put them in the top of her closet and told her they would stay there for 2 days.
this was wednesday. on saturday she asked for them, so i said,
me: "molly, are you going to pick them up when you're done playing?"
molly: "no."
me: "ok, then we're not getting them down."
...a few minutes later...
me: "molly, do you want your toys?"
molly: "yes."
me: "are you going to pick them up when you're done?"
molly: "no."
me: "then we're not getting them down."
...a few minutes later...
me: "molly, do you want to play with your toys?"
molly: "no."

more of the same on sunday.
they're still up there.

if she would have just blamed it on her brain....

i'm feelin' crafty

not crafty like a fox; crafty like martha stewart, baby!!

i have, in the last 24 hours, done 3 different craft projects with my son.

and yes, i am bragging.

they actually turned out really really well. i get Family Circle magazine, which always has super cool, if not a little extravagant, craft projects to do with your kids. with a 2 and 4 year old, this usually means i do the project while they watch, so its only been recently that i've started even dabbling in this new frontier. everything was super easy, and pretty inexpensive. colby was able to at least help out, if not completely participate, in everything.

we made (spoiler alert, ms. brandy) bookmarks for his teachers out of ribbon and buttons.

sooo cute!!!

we also made snowflake window clings...

...and ice crystals (they really just look like snowflakes) that we hung up between our stockings.

happy crafting! let me know if you make anything fabulous!!!

Africa was amazing!!!

i got back yesterday from 10 days in Africa. the experience changed my life.

i had never before been out of the country (other than vacations in mexico, and we all know mexico doesnt count when you live in texas), and to see such a different culture and lifestyle so different from ours here in america was humbling and eye opening.

the people of Ghana are the friendliest i've ever met. they live in what we would consider poverty (even though the area we were in is quite developed and 'westernized' compared to many other parts of Africa), and yet they're happy and thankful for what they have. it's all they know so they just take each day as it comes and are happy to be alive.

i loved driving down the dirt roads, and passing hundreds of people walking with buckets on their heads and babies strapped to their backs, yelling "obruni!!" at us. yelling obruni is like saying 'hey, you're white!' as if we don't already know that. it's like telling someone they're sunburned. we'd wave and yell hello back at them, which was always met with a huge, beautiful smile. they have great teeth in Ghana.

my days were spent playing with the preschoolers for a couple of hours in the mornings, followed by some admin work at the school. after lunch i did scrapbooking with the mammas. this concept and activity was completely foreign to most of them, and although their pages looked like, well, nothing you would see here, they loved it and were asking madam libbie when they would get to do it again. i tutored some of the 1st and 2nd graders with their reading in the afternoons and had an hour with my dad after school every day to do rec with the 3rd thru 6th graders.

friday night i was able to spend some time with the 8 JSS students (jr. high, mostly 7th grade level, although most of them are approx 16 years old). i fed them till they were about to bust. they helped chop up all the veggies and stir the pots, and then were able to experience, for the first time, quesedillas, enchilada stew, and chicken fried rice. that was one of the best things i got to do while i was there!!

on the weekends we went into town and did some sightseeing and shopping. the last saturday we were there, we drove about 3 & 1/2 hours to Cape Coast. it's a fishing village and theres a slave castle there dating back to the 1200's i believe. we got a tour and learned about the history of Ghana. very interesting stuff. then we got to go to the beach--the prettiest one i've ever seen. the same one where allen almost died (really) on his trip with the youth. you can ask me (or him) about that later.

i collected real seashells, not the kind you see on the gulf coast in Texas. these are big and beautiful and amazing. i brought about 30 home with me and they're already in a bowl in my living room. now i have to keep my kids away from them! :)

i have attached a ridiculous amount of pictures, although these don't even make a dent in the over 600 pictures i took. seriously.

the Kotoku walk. every friday the kids are allowed to leave the Rafiki village for 1 hour. the nearest village is Kotoku, and most of them usually walk there and back (about 1 mile round trip). we were on our way back to Rafiki when this picture was taken. yes, that's a road we're walking on. a road for cars. that one is actually pretty nice.

atarabono getting her enchilada stew.


cooking 101. building quesadillas.

mamma fausty let me play the bamboo sticks with them.



they loved doing my hair.

these are some women we met on the road. so friendly!


REAL seashells!!!!

on the beach. isn't it beautiful!?!?

swimsuit not required.

this is the beach right outside the slave castle.


this is the fishing village at Cape Coast. i took this picture from one of the balconies at the castle.

yes, thats fish on his head. yummy.

no one ever carried anything in their hands-only on their heads. they could run, bend down and

pick something up, turn to look at something, and never drop it. i tried. i couldn't do it.

all the women carried their babies on their backs. everytime i saw a baby, it was strapped to someone's back. incredible.

this is the side of the highway. people set up their kiosks and sell vegetables, fruit, shoes, handkerchiefs, whatever they have to sell.

i think i'll go to africa!

tomorrow is the big day! my ride is picking me up in 12 hours (that would be 4am). i didn't realize 4:00 came twice a day. i'm not sure i've ever actually seen 4am while coherent (feeding a newborn doesnt count).
at any rate, i will be in africa in 48 hours. very cool.
for those of you that dont know, my dad and i are going to ghana, africa to serve at an orphange. it's not really an orphanage like we think of third world country orphanages.
it's a rafiki village. yes, the children there are orphaned, but they are well loved and educated at a school there on the grounds. there are 7 cottages, each with approximately 10 children and a mamma that raises them and takes care of them. it's an awesome ministry.
some friends of ours have been there as long term missionaries for almost 3 years. we'll be staying with them and doing different things around the village, such as tutoring, teaching some 'extra-curricular' classes, playing games, and working in general--pretty much whatever they need us to do.
i'm sooo excited and am looking forward to working with the nationals, doing some sightseeing and just lovin me some little african babies!
i'll have plenty of pictures when i return, i'm sure.
sad to say, i will probably not be blogging until around thanksgiving. we return to the states on the 25th--the tuesday before thanksgiving.
i will have access to a computer a few times to send out email updates, so if i'm able i may post once just to let everyone know how things are going.

keep us in your prayers and our family who we're leaving behind for a couple of weeks, specifically my sick kids. we've had no more vomit, but they're very snotty and just generally pitiful. i'd appreciate it.
much love!!

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my messiest day ever...yet another story involving poop.

let me first say, it's not that the bathroom stories are the only ones i find funny, it's just that, well, this is my life. uncut and uncensored. and they are pretty funny...about an hour later after i've cleaned up the mess. :)

colby came in to our bedroom at about 7:00 this morning to finish sleeping, more or less. at 7:15ish i was just about to wake him up to get ready for mother's day out, when i see him sit up really quick and point to his face. i hear allen say,
allen: "oh, babe we've got major snot here."
me: "hold on. i'll get a kleenex."
allen: "oh, he's throwing up!"
so i grab a towel out from under the sink to clean up the mess, or maybe just catch some of it before it gets all over my white bedspread (who's idea was that??) and run into the bedroom. i later realized i had scraped the top of my foot pretty good in the process; it's amazing what you don't feel when you're focused, huh?
i find allen with his hands cupped under colby's mouth, catching last nights spaghettio's and french fries (don't judge me) as they revisited us this morning. colby's pretty much done throwing up at this point, and now allen's trying his best to keep his taco bueno dinner from joining the party.
allen: (between gags)"it's all over his foot."
me: "and the bedspread. i got it, babe. go...do whatever you need to do."
allen's gone. washing his hands and cleaning himself up. he held it together, by the way.
me: "so i guess he's not going to school today. i still have to go to the grocery store. i'll just do that and then we'll come home." (bad decision, as you will soon hear, er, read about.)
no i'm not a horrible mother that takes her vomiting feverish son out in public with no regard to his 'condition'. he was feeling perfectly fine, no fever. he was pretty snotty before he went to bed last night, so honestly, i thought the drainage had settled in his stomach while he was sleeping and thats what caused the throwing up. i figured he'd be ok now that he'd gotten that out of his system.
he had a little diarrhea shortly after the vomiting incident, but again, i thought it was still just the drainage.
allen left for work, and we loaded up for the grovery store. i drove through starbucks to get us each a drink (milk for them. the hard stuff for me) and then on to wal-mart....
colby: "i have to poop! i have to poop!"
me: "colby, you'll have to hold it love. you can go when we get to the store."
colby: "i have to go now."
i called my grandparents who are between starbucks and wal-mart and asked them if i could bring colby over to use their bathroom. i got the ok, so we made a pit stop at memaw's and papaw's house. more diarrhea.
we get to walmart and the first half of the excursion is mostly uneventful. they each picked out a toy with their birthday money, so thats keeping them more or less occupied as i try to finish up.
colby: "mommy, i pooped a little."
me: "what?"
colby: "i pooped in my pants."
me: "just now?"
colby: "yes. it was just an accident."
me: "stand up and let me see."
sure enough, he had 'leaked' just a little. it had soaked through his underwear and shorts, but was, by no means, reason to leave my almost full basket in the middle of the store and go home.
me: "colby, we're almost done. then we'll get you cleaned up and go home."
while i'm checking out, molly poops. great timing. a little runny, but not too bad.
out at the car, before the back was filled with groceries, i changed molly, and stripped colby down to just a t-shirt (naked from the waist down) and wiped him off.
on the way home colby (still naked from the waist down) says,
colby: "mommy, i have to poop again!"
me: "colby, you'll have to hold it, baby. i'm going as fast as i can! please hold on. squeeze your butt cheeks together! (yes i said that. like he even knows what that means. we dont use the word butt, or cheeks in reference to the butt, around them.)
colby: "i can't."
me: "please, colby!!"
colby: "mommy!"
allen calls me at that moment and i give him the rundown of what our morning has looked like so far, while at the same time trying to keep my son from having diarrhea in my car.
we get home and i very quickly get out (at this moment it starts sprinkling outside. thats all i need right now) and run around to colbys door. i open it to find him throwing up the chocolate milk he had sucked down about an hour and a half before that.
me: "oh, no!"
molly: "mommy, colby's spittin!"
me: "no. he's throwing up."
i let him finish, then take him out of the car, and take his shirt off of him.
my precious 4 year old is standing in the driveway, completely naked, covered in vomit from the waist down, and in his hair from when i pulled his shirt off.
colby: "mommy, i still have to poop."
me: "just go colby. right there."
so he did. diarrhea. on the driveway. naked.
colby: "it's sliding down my legs!"
making memories.
at this point i'm at a loss. i have no clue what to do. do i carry him in? he has throw up all over him and poop running down his legs. i love him, but i'm not picking him up like that.
he needs a bath.
so i got the water hose. i sprayed him down where he stood, then sprayed off the driveway and his carseat. it was a little chilly outside, so he wasn't a big fan of my chosen method. i actually had to chase him a bit. i wonder what the nieghbors would have thought had they been looking out their window at that moment. it was probably a bit ridiculous to see.
i wrapped him up in a big fluffy towel, and brought him in to a warm bath.
oh, i had called allen right after he threw up and told him to come home, so he showed up right about the time colby was put in the tub.
he cleaned off the carseat while i unloaded the groceries.
then he took my car up to the wash tub and used his gift certificate to have my car cleaned (sweet husband!). he said the guy was super rude when he told him to pay extra attention to the passenger side, because his son had thrown up. i had cleaned most of it up. it just needed attention to the carpet and the smell in general. they were going to charge him $15 extra just for that! allen had a word with the gentleman, and he did not have to pay the extra charge. :)
back at home, more diarrhea.
and, as i typed this, i had to get up and go help colby, who pooped on the floor while he was standing up to pee....again. (click the link for that story, in case you missed it.)

all this before 1pm.
i wonder what the rest of our day will hold. :)

happy monday!!!

peeing in a cup

yet another bathroom story. :)

colby and molly had their 4 year and 2 year check ups today.

colby had to do a urine test, among other things, so i made sure he drank plenty of fluids this morning before we headed out to the drs office. the child can go for hours without using the bathroom (honestly, its ridiculous), so i knew he'd be able to give me something when the time came.

when we got there the receptionist sent us right on back to the restroom to do the sample, so off i go to the bathroom with my 2 kids, my purse (why did i bring the big one today?), and 2 clipboards with waivers and things for me to sign (yes, i have 2 kids, but why cant they put it all on one clipboard???). i walk into the bathroom, which smells like stale pee, and theres no little table to put my stuff on, or hook to hang my purse on the door. nuthin. so i begrudgingly set my load on the floor (ick) and proceeded with the sample collection.

i had told colby last night before he went to bed that he would need to pee in a cup at the drs office so they could test his pee and make sure he's healthy. he was actually excited about the idea. no worries.

i labeled the plastic 'collection cup', and held it in the line of fire. let me interject at this point, that i did not have him go stand by the toilet. i thought to myself, "he doesnt need to stand by the toilet. he's not peeing in the toilet. hes peeing in a cup." yes, i did think through it pretty much just like that. so he starts to pee. and pee. and pee. and pee. oh, no.....the cup is getting full.

me: "stop peeing colby! stop! hold it!"

colby: "i still have more pee! i can't stop!"

so i reach over and grab another cup and switch them out real quick. i don't know what he thought he was doing but he moved his penis, maybe to accomodate for the switching of the 'collection cup', and he sprayed pee all over my arm and skirt, and the floor. meanwhile i'm yelling at molly to not touch the almost overflowing first 'collection cup' that i set off to the side so he could proceed to fill the second 'collection cup'. seriously. this is happening to me.

and guess what...there was a third collection cup. and a fourth.

me: "good night, colby. how much did you drink this morning?"

colby: "well, i didn't potty when i got up becuase i wanted to save it all for the cup."

how nice of him. and boy did he ever. he filled 3 cups and made almost halfway up the fourth one. so i dumped the first 3 cups in the toilet and cleaned up the mess we made. molly managed to come out of the incident unscathed, thank goodness. at least one of us didn't smell like pee.

no wonder that bathroom smells like it does. i would like to think thats not the first time something like that has happened.

thats what i'll keep telling myself, anyway. ;)

allen told me later that i could have "pinched it off like a water hose". a lot of good that does me now. i'll file that away in case i ever again find myself in such a predicament. lets hope not. mental note; always stand near a toilet when giving a urine sample. always.

halloween pictures!!

accident number three...i think

soooo, colby just had another 'accident' on my bathroom floor. this one, however, was oh so different.
allen had just stripped him down to get in the tub (yes i realize its 4:45, but theres a sitter coming over and i dont want her to have to do it, and they stink so it cant wait till morning) and he went on his way. a couple of minutes later he came out and allen says,
allen: "colby go get in the bathtub."
colby: "i had an accident."
allen: "what did you do?"
me: "he probably peed on the floor." (no big deal, i think to myself)

time passes and no sign of them, so i go back to assess the damage and see how i can be of assistance.

me: "did he pee?"
allen: "he pooped."
me: "what?"
allen: "on the floor."
me: "WHAT?"

i walk over and sure enough theres poop on the floor (actually on that little rug in from of the toilet). gag.

colby: "it was just an accident mommy."
me: "why did you poop on the floor??"
allen: "he was standing to pee and had to poop too, so out it came, i guess."

i start giggling to myself. it is funny. i'm imagining my sweet boy, who hates to dissapoint, standing there to pee (he's finally tall enough, so i gave him the 'ok' to do that) and suddenly he realizes he has to poop too! what should he do? oh, crap. literally.
bless his heart.
i couldn't be mad. i kept hearing, "it was just an accident, mommy."

i'll post halloween pictures soon. :)

happy birthday!!

we celebrated the kids' birthdays on saturday.

today is actually colbys birthday; he's 4. molly will be 2 on the 8th.

we had their party at petland-not petco, not petsmart. petland. its a much smaller version of the other two, but petland actually sells pets, whereas the others typically do not. when i say pets i dont mean fish and birds. we're talking dogs, cats, hamsters, ferrets, bunnies, guinea pigs, and a few reptiles. its very cool and theres a party room in the back. you get the room for an hour and a half and they bring you whatever animals you want to play with , 2 at a time. the kids sit in a circle on their bottoms (yeah right) and each has their turn to love on whatever is in the room at that moment (usually looking for a corner to hide in, poor things).

we saw all kinds of puppies, 1 kitten and 1 bunny. we didnt really get any great pictures of that with all the kids running around and such, but there are some cute ones from the cake and present time.

the first pic is of colby and his best bud evan at the zoo last week. they're so cute!

this was taken while everyone was singing 'happy birthday', you cant tell as much in this picture, but she was soooo excited that everyone was singing to her! too cute.

obviously he was really happy about this gift--the Toy Story figure set from the disney store.

halloween cake- seriously?

**UPDATE**
colby's poop has had a really odd blueish color to it for the past 2 days. i honestly think it's diluted black icing! sooo fun fact: black icing makes your poop blue.

you can find a cake for every occasion these days. colby and molly received their first ever halloween cakes this afternoon. mimi and papa came in town for a birthday get together. the kids' party is this evening, and they didnt want to be here too late, so they drove in this morning and we did presents with them followed by lunch, and then they headed back to h-town.

in addition to the birthday presents, colby and molly each got a halloween bag (think easter basket, but with halloween stickers and such rather than eggs), and a halloween cake. what color do you think the icing is on a halloween cake? that would be black. why would someone ever put black icing on a cake--especially a cake for a small child? at any rate the cakes were super cute and enjoyed greatly. well, molly hasnt had hers yet, but i'm sure she will love it. here are the results of an almost 4 year old eating black icing....

if i let him dress 'goth', i suppose this is what it would look like. for a split second, i think allen honestly thought i had put black lipstick on our son.

thank you mimi for the memories...and the mess. :)

colbys goatee

colby came home from school last week with a 'self-portrait' they had been working on for a few days. in his own mind, my 3-year-old has a goatee. why do i say that? because his self portrait has a blonde goatee. its been hanging on my kitchen cabinet (thats where i have to hang things, because our fridge isn't magnetic) since he brought it home, and every time i look at it i chuckle to myself a little bit. so i thought i'd share.

apparently, from what i'm told, some of the other boys thought the facial hair look was really cool, so they added one to their face too.

i got tagged!

my friend kristen tagged me and i have to post the 6th picture from the 6th file in my photos. so here it is....




















colby t. sitting on the roof of the playhouse, watching for the hurricane.
seriously.
so....i tag karen and christi

colbys latest stunt

i admit it. i leave my children unattended while i take a shower. frequently.

they do fine...usually.

but the other day i was getting out of the shower and i heard colby yelling. not a scared, hurt yelling. just yelling.

i walk out of the bathroom to see him trapped in allens pants.

he somehow got one pant-leg down over his entire body, with his arms down. i honestly don't know how he could have done that, but he did. he was yelling for me to get him out, and after i stopped laughing hysterically and took a picture (can you blame me?) i set him free.

he tried to get back in again, but he just couldn't do it quite the same.

check it out....

flashback--my most embarrasing mommy moment

i read another blog called Bring the Rain on a regular basis. it has blessed me!!! i would highly recommend it, from the beginning, along with a box of kleenex.
the sweet author of this blog, angie, shared one of her most embarrassing moments as a mommy and it inspired me to do the same. this happened back in the spring and i've never blogged about it (i wasn't blogging yet at the time), but its definitely worth sharing.

colby, molly, and i were headed to houston to visit mimi (allens mom) and take a trip to the houston zoo. we stopped at mcdonalds on the way for a bite to eat and colbys toy was a doll with a purple afro (some of you may remember the american idol dolls that played music. there was an oriental one, and african american one, and emo-ish one, etc). he said to me
colby: "mommy, i want hair like this."
me: "colby you can't have hair like that."
colby: "why not?"
me: (thinking.....) "because you're white."
colby: "no i'm not."
me: "well, not exactly. you're actually kind of a peach color, but we call that kind of skin white. people with hair like that are african american. they have dark brown skin."
colby: "are their bones white?"
me: "yes everyones bones are white."
colby: "where are some african americans?"

so i start to look as we're driving, for a car with an african american in it. keep in mind, we're not so completely sheltered that my son has never seen a black person. he's just never noticed before, and we don't have any close friends that are black for me to say, "your friend so and so is an african american." ...so i'm looking....
i don't see any and the subject is dropped.

fast forward to the zoo a couple days later.
there are more buses in the parking lot than i've ever seen in one place and most of them are full of predominantly black children. this does not seem like a big deal to me.
we've been at the zoo all day. we've been seeing black people all day. we're on our way out and colby is walking behind me with his mimi and i hear him yell, "mimi! i found some!! i found some african americans! there they are right there!!!!" i turn around and he's pointing and shouting at a small group of preteen black girls who absolutely don't know how to react to this blond very white 3 year old boy who is acting as though he's just discovered some long forgotten treasure...or a starbucks in rural west texas. they kind of laughed it off (lucky for him he's adorable) and when i crawled out from behind the concrete pole i had quickly disappeared behind, i explained to him that we dont point at people, and under no circumstance do we ever scream someones race or nationality at them. ever.

no incidences since then, thank goodness.
but, there's still molly, and you can bet she'll do something just as fabulous.

juice box overdose

colby learned yesterday that if he wants something, he can get away with it if i'm trying to take a nap.
yesterday i woke up early to go to my thursday morning workout class (5:30am). by 2 o'clock i was super tired so i laid down to take a nap while molly was taking hers. colby, being almost 4, is pretty trustworthy and good at playing by himself, so i dont worry about him getting into anything on the occasion that i decide to take advantage of that 2 hour window to catch a little shut eye myself. :)

he came in not too long after i had dozed off and said he was thirsty, so i told him to get a bottle of water or a juice box out of the fridge and bring it to me so i could open it for him.

now, juice boxes are usually reserved for picnics or the occasional preschool lunch box surprise, but i didnt want to get up to pour him a glass of half and half (juice and water), so that was the other option. bad mommy, i know, i know.

he didn't come back in, so i figured maybe he got caught up doing something else between my bedroom and the refrigerator. i fell back asleep. about 45 minutes later he comes in and says, "mommy, i'm drinking all the juice boxes!"

i mumbled something like, "one more and you're done," and he left.

fast forward about 2 hours later. mollys awake. i'm in the kitchen getting dinner ready. nothing unusual really. then, i open the trash can to throw something away, and see this...

my son managed to suck down 4 juice boxes in less than 2 hours. not completely surprising i guess, but something he's never had the privilege (or opportunity) to do. i didn't think he could open them!

he walked in just now and saw this picture and said

colby: "whoa! look at all those juice boxes!"

me: "yes, colby. you drank all of those."

colby: "yeah i did."

me: "why did you do that?"

colby: "i was soooo thirsty. hey, one fell to the bottom."

ok, so make that 5 juice boxes in less than 2 hours.

and a new adventure we're experiencing here in the frans household; molly has figured out how to get out of her crib and usually decides to do it sometime between 1 and 4 am. then stands at her door and screams till we come rescue her. she also did it this morning when she woke up. allen was sitting on the couch with colby and heard her knocking from the other side of her door to be let out. she also climbed out as soon as we put her down for naptime today. so allen may be taking the side panel of her crib off tomorrow (it turns into a daybed).

this is not a battle i'm ready to fight, but i figure if she's going to get out of bed anyway, we might as well remove the possibility of her breaking her arm in the process.

i'm sure i'll have more to blog about this later.

in the meantime, don't drink too many juice boxes. :)

poop makes ice melt

we came home from church yesterday and, as always, i asked colby what he learned in sunday school. sometimes he says, "i don't know," or "i don't remember," and then sometimes he tells us what he learned-as he remembers it.
me: "colby, what did you learn in sunday school today?"
colby: "we learned about the man that couldn't hear or talk."
me: "oh, you did? what happened to him?"
colby: "his ears didn't work and when he moved his mouth he just (moves his mouth like he's talking, but no sound comes out), and the people said 'Jesus! Jesus!' and Jesus came and touched his tongue and his ears and said, 'BE ALIVE!!!' (and thats how he said it--very loudly).
me: "wow, did he say it that loud?"
colby: "yeah. Jesus said, 'BE ALIVE!!!' oh no. wait, he said 'BE WELL!!!' not 'BE ALIVE!!!'
me: "then what happened?"
colby: "then he was all better. but he got sick again. then he died."

i'm guessing perhaps it came up in conversation that even though Jesus healed the man, he didn't live forever. he still died one day, like we all do.....maybe thats what happened?? or maybe colby just in his own thought process, figured that must be how it ended. eventually.

now we get to the poop thing (see title).

this afternoon i was in the kitchen starting the process of getting dinner ready, and colby was playing in the living room. i could hear him, but i wasn't really listening. you probably have done the same. although maybe not with your kids. :)
anyway, he comes into the kitchen with one of molly's dolls in one hand and the now naked doll's clothes in the other hand.
colby: "mommy, can you put these back on her?"
me: "why did you take them off of her?" (i'm expecting something to the effect of 'i wanted to see what she looked like under her clothes,' or 'i wanted to see if she was a girl.' we're easing our way into that stage).
colby: "so she could poop on mr. freeze."
me: (of course. duh.) "why would she do that?"
colby: "to melt the ice."
me: "but doesn't he shoot ice at people?"
colby: "yeah, but she pooped on it before he could shoot it at her."
me: "because poop melts ice?"
colby: "yes, it does."

good to know.

R.I.P lady the boy fish

we lost a fish today. the kids and i came home from a very successful shopping trip with my mom--molly got a very cute dress off the clearance rack at gymboree with coordinating leggings and colby got 2 outfits from carters. i was fortunate enough to get in on the action and made it home with a fabulous fuschia peacoat!! now it just needs to get about 40 degrees cooler so i can wear it!

thanks mom!!!!! :)

anyway, back to the fish.

allen very inconspicuously pointed to the fish tank while mouthing the words 'DEAD FISH'.

"what???" i said, and glanced over to the tank.

there he was, floating upside down. lady the boy fish. dead.

i killed the last fish we had basically by not treating the water before i put him in it.

i have been very careful with this fish, so i honestly dont know what happened. he hadn't been acting weird or anything like that at all. and sucky the sucker fish is still very much alive.

i hope he doesnt die of loneliness. or maybe i do....i wouldnt mind a reprieve from cleaning the tank every few weeks.....

at any rate, we are a 1 less fish family. colby was very excited about getting to flush lady down the toilet. he handles fish death well.

he's had plenty of opportunity thanks to his fish killing mother.

furry legs and imaginary friends

i haven't posted in several days, so i suppose i need to. :)
allen and i celebrated 7 years of wedded bliss on monday. actually, we celebrated on saturday, but our anniversary was monday. the years go so quickly!!

colby informed me yesterday morning that i needed to get the fur off my legs.
they weren't that bad, really. my husband doesn't mind stubbley legs, but my almost 4 year old son does. go figure.

he also decided that he wants an imaginary friend, but expects me to get him one. i think he saw it on little bill, maybe, and said
colby: "mommy i want an imaginary friend."
me: "ok, thats fine. you can have one."
colby: "can you get me one?"
me: "colby, its not something i get for you. you just have to pretend you have one-its imaginary." colby: "but i don't know how."
me: " yes you do. its like when you pretend your trains talk to each other. or you pretend you're spiderman. pretend you have a friend with you but no one else can see him."
colby: "but i can't see him."
me: (i'm really at a loss here. not sure what to say.)"i don't think you quite understand what an imaginary friend is, bud."
colby: "what is it?"
me: "i told you what it is. its a friend you pretend you have, and no one can see him but you. you use your imagination."
colby: "i don't want to use my imagination."

case closed.

scrapbooking

i went to midnight scrapping at church tonight. it was so much fun!! allens mom and stepdad are here in town as evacuees from houston, so she went with me. we had a great time. i got 6 pages done. here are a few of my favorites...